Look at this photo and notice what you think and feel. At the end of the post there is a different photo. Both photos were taken on the same walk, only minutes apart from each other. Enjoy your read.
Before moving along to the heady title of “Concurrent Duplicity” check in and see if you experienced the following when looking at the photo: beauty, an eye strain, a need to look away, and a need to look again. It will all make sense very soon!
In the years of policing I had to compartmentalize feelings and structure my thoughts. This was sometimes so extreme that the thoughts had to take numbers, line up, and wait for an understaffed attendant at a government wicket. Post policing I realize compartmentalization has been a great asset, particularly when problem solving.
Springboard from compartmentalization to the concept of problem solving. Those two words “problem solving” mean there must be a problem and it must need solving. When we think of the grief that comes from trauma we are conditioned to think the byproducts of that trauma are problems needing solutions. I suggest those byproducts are neither problems nor require solutions. I feel a rabbit hole of confusing thoughts developing, do you?
The more I try to analyze something confusing the more multifaceted the confusion becomes. Then my mind tries to categorize the the multifaceted confusion into two lists, and simple comparisons. I now know that this rabbit hole happens when I don’t understand I can exist with confusion. I can even trust my confusion. Trusting confusion is very difficult.
Trusting confusion is very difficult.Jt Murphy based on something her Mom said years ago.
In the end the things that cause confusion are not necessarily problems. Confusion can be something we can trust. Confusion is part of grief, and love. When we try to break down, into compartments, something that is duplicitous, such as grief, we get confused. Something that is multifaceted can be compartmentalized but duplicity cannot be compartmentalized. One of the most profound examples is wonderfully quoted by Cris Calley Jones.
Love is grief, grief is love.Cris Calley Jones
So just for today consider feeling what exists inside of yourself. Consider feeling those feelings concurrently. Be kind to yourself and when you question how you feel, act, or react consider answering that inquiry with the following mantra “I am having a normal reaction to an abnormal situation” and let the duplicity in your mind exist concurrently.
You are having a normal reaction to an abnormal situationbased on a quote from Victor E Frankl, neurologist, psychiatrist, Holocaust survivor.
Jt Murphy signing off for shift wondering what the next set of photos will bring.